Reality Czech
by captdeb
Summary: When Zelenka visits the infirmary with a minor injury, a confrontation with some new Marines reveals more than he knows.


"What I don't understand," Carson Beckett said as he snapped on a pair of gloves, "is why you didn't let go of the blasted thing when it started to burn you."

Radek Zelenka sighed. "To tell the truth, I didn't even feel it. That callous is so thick I didn't know the probe was hot until I smelled…burning skin." He looked faintly ill. "What an awful smell. It brought back very bad memories."

"Aye, it's terrible all right. Once you smell it, you never forget it." Carson gently turned Radek's abused thumb into the light and clucked his tongue. "Partial thickness there, son. Probably leave a scar."

"It would not be the first. As long as it still works, eh?"

"No worries there. It'll heal up well enough." Carson squeezed some antibiotic cream onto a gauze square and dabbed it on the burn. "Any pain?"

"Meh," the engineer shrugged. "Only a little. Really, Carson, I have had much worse."

"No doubt you have, but that's no reason for you to be in pain now." Taping a bandage securely over Radek's thumb, Carson stripped off his gloves and tossed them in a nearby bin. "Keep it clean and dry. The dressing will need changing. You can come back here and I'll do it for you, or I can send you off with supplies. Though it can be a bit difficult bandaging your own hand."

"I will come and see you. It will give me an excuse to get away from Rodney for awhile."

Carson grinned. "Happy to be of service. Stay put while I get you something for pain."

Radek watched the doctor as he disappeared into the back of the infirmary. He heaved a sigh as a familiar voice began shouting in his ear. "Speak of the devil," he muttered, activating his earpiece. "Yes, Rodney."

"Where are you? We're supposed to be meeting to go over the power consumption figures, and you are…six minutes late!"

"I'm in the infirmary."

"What? What happened? Are you okay? Tell Carson, I don't care how bad you're hurt, I need you back to work!"

"A minor accident, nothing serious. I will meet you in five minutes."

"Oh, good. Listen, as long as you're not dying or anything, would you send me the desalinization stats? You were supposed to have them done for my review by this morning."

"Yes, yes, I will send. God forbid you have to wait five minutes. Zelenka out."

Swearing under his breath, Radek reached for the laptop he'd dropped on the bed when he came in. Just as he booted up his email program, he was distracted by new arrivals.

A group of soldiers tumbled through the door, shoving each other and laughing loudly. One of the men was cradling his left wrist. Another bellowed "Hello? Anybody here? We got an injured man here!" The group burst into laughter once more.

A nurse approached them, took a quick look at the injury, and escorted them to a bed directly across the aisle from Radek's. "The doctor will be right with you," she said, offering a small smile.

The injured man smirked at her retreating form. "What do I need a doctor for? I bet you can take care of me real good."

"Bet you could take care of her," added another of the pack. Another round of snickering and shoving ensued.

Radek rolled his eyes and continued searching his hard drive for the correct file. Bad enough these new recruits lacked respect, lacked the shared sense of purpose so present in the original expedition members – did they also have to act like prepubescent idiots? One of the men jerked his chin in Radek's direction.

"Hey, check out the little guy. What're you in for, little man? Wait, let me guess," the Marine said, eyeing the bandaged finger. "You stuck your finger in a light socket. That explains the hair." More laughter from his buddies.

"Yes, very funny," Radek sighed, not looking up from his screen. Where was Carson with his Tylenol? A quick glance at the laptop's clock told him he was three minutes away from being late for his meeting with Rodney – again. "_Do prdele_," he muttered.

"What did you say?"

Radek looked up when a shadow darkened his screen. One of the extremely large idiots was looming over him, close enough that he could smell today's lunch special on his breath. "Excuse me?"

"What did you call me? Something you wanna say to my face, little man?"

"No, no, it was nothing. I was talking to myself."

"That's what I thought," the young man sneered, turning away.

"Although," Radek continued, "if I had been talking to you, I'd ask why you act like you own Atlantis when you've hardly earned the privilege."

The Marine gaped at him, putting his beefy fists on his hips. Radek, however, wasn't done, no matter how fiercely his brain screamed at him to shut up, already.

"You idiots come here and think you know everything. Do you know what your chances are of surviving even one year here? One in two. One half of the soldiers who are sent here DIE within a year. And the stupid ones, like you? The ones who joke and bully and ignore the scientists? They are the first to die, because they DON'T LISTEN. Is all a big joke to you! Well, I have a lesson for you in applied statistics. Look at your friends over there. Before the year is out, two of them will be dead. Or maybe only one of them, and you will be dead too. Laugh at that."

There was a shocked silence as the Marines stared, open-mouthed. From the corner of his eye Radek spotted Carson, watching open-mouthed from the doorway.

The aggressor abruptly regained his footing. "I'm a United States Marine," he growled, poking a thick finger into Radek's chest. "I've had the finest training Uncle Sam has to offer. I was hand-picked for this assignment. The best of the best! Who the hell are you?"

"Me? I am no one. Just a lowly engineer, who controls the heat, hot water, electricity and sewage for this city. Also, I build nuclear weapons in my spare time. What section did you say you were quartered in," Radek squinted at the patch over the man's left breast, "Mister Parker? Never mind, I'll check." He pulled up a city schematic and zoomed in on the section assigned to the new military personnel. "Ah, here we are." He typed furiously for a moment, then looked up and met the soldier's stare. "My advice to you? Wear something warm to bed tonight."

"You…what…you can't…"

"I can," Radek stated, snapping his laptop shut. "And I will, over and over until you learn to use your head! You cannot afford to act rashly here! You must be alert, you must be open in your thinking, and you must learn from those of us who have survived here for years!" Radek sighed and ran a hand through his hair, which promptly snagged on the bandage tape on his thumb. He ripped it loose with a wince and turned back to Parker, this time with tired eyes. "Please. Think about what I have said. I am tired of watching you die."

Carson chose that moment to step forward. "Radek, would you wait in my office while I tend to this young man?"

Radek was surprised to find he was breathing hard as though he'd been running wind sprints. Abruptly, the anger drained from him, leaving him feeling incredibly tired. He leaned heavily on the bed behind him and pulled off his glasses, rubbing his face with a heavy hand.

A gentle hand touched his elbow. "My office, Radek. Go on, son." Radek nodded and dragged himself into Carson's little cubicle without a backwards glance. Once there, he dropped his glasses on a pile of file folders, sank into a chair and dropped his head on his folded arms on top of the desk.

What had come over him? One moment he'd simply been annoyed at the juvenile antics of the new Marines. How had that turned so quickly into…whatever that had been?

What seemed like only moments later, Carson entered the office, shutting the door quietly behind him. He sat down behind the desk and leaned back, regarding Radek thoughtfully. "I'm going to ask you something, and I want you to answer me truthfully."

"Of course."

"Did you burn yourself on purpose?"

Radek knew his shock showed on his face. "What? Christ, no! Why would you think that?"

Carson studied his face for a moment longer, then held up his hand. "I had to ask, Radek. Are you having any trouble sleeping?"

He shrugged. "You know, when I was at university, it seemed like I could go days without sleep. I'm too old for that now, apparently. I feel like I'm always tired." Slipping his glasses back on, he leaned his chin on his fist and returned the doctor's gaze. "Are you going to diagnose me now?"

In response, Carson opened a desk drawer and withdrew a bottle and two mismatched glasses. "This, lad, is twenty-year-old Talisker. Only nine thousand were bottled. I've been saving it for a special occasion."

"I cannot," Radek said, his voice heavy with regret. "I am to meet with Rodney. _Hovno_, I am late. Again."

Carson tapped his radio. "Beckett to McKay. Rodney, I'm keeping Radek under observation for a few hours. He won't be returning to work today. And I don't want you bothering him after hours, either. He needs rest if he's to recover." Radek held up his bandaged thumb and raised an eyebrow. Carson winked at him. "He told you that? Well, he's not a physician, is he? How's he supposed to know what's a minor injury and what's not? He'll be back to work tomorrow. In the meantime, leave him be. Beckett out." The doctor activated his headset again. "Beckett to Keller. Jennifer, are you busy? I need someone to cover the end of my shift. Thank you, love, I owe you one." He clicked the radio off again and unscrewed the bottle, pouring two fingers in each glass. "Just a taste, now. I wouldn't want you getting the idea that this is a cure for what ails you."

"And what is it that ails me, exactly?"

"Well, we'll let Dr. Heightmeyer confirm it, of course, but I'd say you're suffering from depression and a hefty dose of survivor's guilt."

"It only took you two questions to diagnose that?" Radek felt unaccountably defensive – exposed and angry – but Carson didn't bat an eye.

"It didn't even take one, actually. Seeing you out there with the Marines, the look on your face… God knows I've seen it enough times in my own mirror."

Radek paused with the glass half-way to his mouth. "You, too?"

"Me, too," the physician confirmed. "God, Radek, so many people have died since we came here. Why not me? Why not you? It haunts me sometimes, especially with the young ones. Why do I get to live when a twenty-year-old kid dies? What's fair about that?" Carson raised his glass and took a small sip, letting the Scotch sit on his tongue and infuse his taste buds before swallowing. "Sublime. Absolutely sublime. Try it."

Radek did. A frown crossed his face. "Odd. Spicey? Very different from what I've had in the past."

"It's got a high peat content. Not for everyone, I suppose. Radek, when was the last time you visited home?"

He blew out a breath and thought back. "A year, perhaps? I went home for my mother's surgery."

"I remember, it was more like a year and a half. Maybe you should visit at a less stressful time?"

"You do not know my family," Radek snorted.

Carson grinned. "Still, I think you could do with the time off. I'm going to make the recommendation to Elizabeth and Rodney."

"Carson, you cannot do that. Please." Radek was close to panic at the thought. "They will think I cannot handle my job. What if they will not let me come back?"

The doctor looked taken aback. "Easy, son. I promise you, no one will think that. We work in an incredibly stressful environment. We all need a break once in awhile. Believe me, you are not the first I've sent off on a wee mental health vacation. Far from it."

Radek sighed and took another sip of the potent beverage. "I suppose you are right."

"Of course I'm right. Who's the doctor here? I do want you to speak to Kate, though. She may want to put you on medication."

"Surely not," Radek protested.

"I don't think it will come to that, but try to keep an open mind, okay? I'm going to give you a few sleeping pills – you're not to take them for at least two hours after you finish your drink, understood?"

"Carson, it is three o'clock in the afternoon. I have no plans to go to bed anytime soon."

"Well, you're not going to work, either. You need a day off. I know – let's take a jumper and head to the mainland, take a picnic, spend some time on the beach."

"Fine, but I feel I should tell you, I never put out on the first date."

"That's not what I hear." Carson quirked a grin as he tucked the Scotch bottle into the back of his desk drawer.

They rose and left the infirmary, heading for the control room. "Lies," Radek protested. "All lies and slander, to besmirch my character and sully my good name. I blame Rodney."

"Of course."

"Was the soldier okay?"

"Hmm? Oh, yes. Just a sprain. The young fools found a pair of Teyla's fighting sticks in the gym and thought they would play ninjas or some such nonsense."

Radek sighed. "Children. They will never make it."

"Oh, I don't know. They were very quiet during the exam. You gave them plenty to think about."

"I hope so."

"Are you still going to monkey with their quarters?"

"Oh, certainly. It will be good for them, I think. Character building."

"I agree. They can consider it their first lesson in surviving the Pegasus Galaxy."

"Bundle up?"

"Never annoy an engineer."

End

A/N: Wow, this one took itself somewhere different than what I'd planned. Hope you like it. If you do, there is a brief epilogue posted on my livejournal, see my profile page for the link. Please review!


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